i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
