He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
As shirtless as possible
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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