Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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