That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
