I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
