it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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