D3 body, D1 cock
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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