Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
