she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
