The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
