I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
