There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize
