I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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