I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
