What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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