all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
