you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
