I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
