I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
