Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
