Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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