I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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