So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
