Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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