Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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