Acid is not a monday night drug
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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