he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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