This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
