Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
