i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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