How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
