Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
