He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
