WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
