i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
