she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
