But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
