K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
