i love accidental penises.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
