remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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