Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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