just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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