i dont even know how to be here
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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