No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
