I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
