well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
