just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
