drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
