You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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