I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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