4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My ATM looks so different sober.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All I want is dick and wine.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
