I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
