She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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