He disabled his match.com account in front of me
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
