why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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