can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
